Roses are red; violets are blue; what does the gift of underwear mean to you?
Your underwear drawer may be stocked with a satisfactory supply of skivvies from the everyday work pair to the “big night out” boxer brief. Most guys could always stand to have an extra pair or two, especially if there are significant lags between laundry days.
Of course, buying underwear for yourself isn’t anything to write home about. That could be an awkward letter for dad to receive. What you like to wear underneath your pants is personal, even if you have amassed some Instagram-worthy pairs.
But what happens when the woman in your life buys you underwear? The woman in your romantic life that is. Not your mom. Side note: If your mother is still buying your underwear, that needs to end. Immediately. Now back to the gift of underwear from your special lady.
The art of underwear gifting changes shape depending on the phase of the relationship. We all know that every relationship is different, so you’ll have to use your judgment when it comes down to it. But when in doubt, count on these relationship phase milestones to figure out if the box of underwear you just opened is a red flag (not literally) or a sweet move from your sweetie.
We’re talking a couple of months, tops. If you receive a pair of underwear from your new fling, there are a few things to consider.
-Is it Valentine’s Day? If so, standard rules may not apply. She may be going for a fun, sexy vibe – a little jokey, a little, “Let’s jump in the sack.” Accept the underwear confidently and lay off the Valentine’s chocolates until you debut the pair for her.
-Were you friends first? If she’s someone you’ve known for a while before dating, a pair of underwear at this early stage is acceptable. She knows that you won’t get freaked out by the gift and that the relationship is going somewhere.
-Does she work in the men’s underwear industry? Then it’s not weird, and she probably gets samples from the showroom. Free underwear is nothing to sneer at, even if you don’t see a future with her.
In most other instances, underwear gifting at this stage is a gamble. You may think it’s cute…or creepy. Go with your gut and pray it’s not a generic 3-pack from the drugstore.
1 Year+ Relationship
You’ve been together for at least a year, maybe two or three. You may still be in the “honeymoon phase” or feel a “we’re more like roommates” tone taking over. Either way, you’ve been together for a while, and you’re surely in love with one another.
At this stage, the underwear gift comes from a caring, dare I say, practical place. She knows you and what she likes to see you wear. Consider the underwear a sign of affection – more love than lust. Still, it’s nice to know that she’s thinking of your “down there” wear, and it’s far better than getting a pair of socks.
That said, if she’s buying you underwear because you’ve given up on the task yourself, her gift is more like a recommendation. Keeping the romance alive requires action on your part, so ditch those dingy decade-old whiteys and get your act together.
At this point in a relationship, getting underwear from your special someone is perfectly fine. And by the way, she wants you to reciprocate.
You’ve likely fallen into a relationship routine. It’s safe and comfortable. But let’s not let it get too comfortable. Is your partner buying your underwear during the same shopping trip where she picks up the rotisserie chicken? This is not a gift; it’s a checklist item. Don’t let things get to this place.
On the other hand, if the sparks are still flying, or she is hoping to reignite the fire, your partner may gift you new underwear to spice things up in the sex department. This is good. Great, in fact. She still desires you and seeing your derriere decked out in something special. Even if these new undies are uncomfortable compared to your run-of-the-mill boxer shorts, wear them with a smile. And when you’re feeling randy, snap a selfie to send to her while she’s at work.
In a nutshell, the gift of underwear from your long-time partner is either a force of habit or a fresh start.
And remember, “’till death do us part” could be decades from now. The bottom line? You’ll need new underwear, and it should be every few months, not every few years, so be happy she cares.