The Beef – Tacos Vs. Burgers

In an imperfect world, if you had to choose between tacos or burgers, which greasy grab-and-go would win? Imagine the proverbial “stranded on a desert island” scenario, only with food trucks and Guy Fieri as the “Gilligan” to your “Skipper.”

You find meat in the absence of coconuts—lots of it. But there’s a catch – you can only have tacos or burgers. Once you’ve accepted the reality that it’s just you and Guy for who-knows-how-long, food is the next big thing to worry about.

How about we wipe out this warped version of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and consider what you’re craving right now? The taco vs. burger debate remains, but in this portrayal, you’re not shipwrecked (and there’s cell service).

It’s On!

Meat lovers could deliberate “tacos vs. burgers” ‘till the cows come home. There are endless variables for each dish – ingredients, preparation, toppings, condiments; you name it. Can this even be a legitimate competition? Probably not, but that’s not really the point here. Chances are, you can have tacos for dinner tonight and a burger at brunch on Sunday.

So, why start this “beef” between tacos and burgers? For one, it’s fun to bring up with friends when you’re sick of talking about the acceptable level of “wokeness” in the workplace or what you’re binge-watching on Netflix. Secondly, who doesn’t like talking about good food?

So, let the battle begin!

For the sake of the average attention span, this particular taco vs. burger war needs some parameters. Let’s break it down into three components: 1. Versatility; 2. Value; 3. Gratification.

Versatility

This is tough since both tacos and burgers can be adapted from the traditional to the over-the-top. From vegan varieties to meaty masterpieces, there’s not a taco or burger that hasn’t been slightly tweaked or significantly transformed. Simplicity is perfect for some folks, while others can’t get enough of the add-ons and oddities that make “food porn” so popular on Instagram.

Yes, the options are all over the place. But this is not a dissertation. Our taco vs. burger clash has to be condensed while still laying out the pros and cons of both the taco and the burger.

Ground beef will be the building block of our taco vs. burger match. Once quinoa, tempeh, and bison are involved, the contest will be more confusing than a presidential election, albeit far more palatable.

So, using ground beef as the base, can we get more variety from a taco or a burger? Here we bring in toppings, condiments, cheeses, and the tortilla or bun that holds the whole thing together.

Burger wins out here. Sure, you can pile a pound of diced avocado onto your taco and smother it in salsa verde and cilantro, but the burger has a world of opportunities that tacos can only attempt to undertake. Why? Because, for the most part, tacos are in their own “lane.” Say “tacos,” and specific, nostalgic flavor combinations come to mind. Of course, one can argue that you could slather vanilla buttercream frosting inside your tortilla shell, but we must maintain some level of composure.

On the other hand, burgers have gone well beyond the classic ketchup, American cheese, and wilted pickle toppings combo we loved as kids. Nowadays, burgers can be a big deal, especially if you’re willing to fork over big bucks for a burger that would make Ronald McDonald choke on his nuggets.

A fine example is breakfast/brunch burgers. That runny egg turns ground beef into gold. A scrambled eggs and cheese soft taco is okay, but the yolky ooze makes the brunch burger so tantalizing. It’s the perfect “hangover” food. Something to really sink your teeth into. A meal that keeps you satisfied ‘till supper. Any cheese you can think of, crispy bacon, and so much more. Plus, rarely does a taco come with a side of fries.

Go all over the globe with innovative burger creations like an “Italian” burger topped with marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese, garlic, and roasted red peppers. How about a “Hawaiian” burger brimming with fresh mango-pineapple chutney on a toasted, buttered sweet roll? You can take a cue from the taco and top your burger with salsa, hot sauce, jalapenos, and sour cream.

Are tacos up for such a challenge? True taco aficionados would probably hope not. A taco doesn’t need to be mutated to such a degree that it’s barely recognizable. A taco taking on the flavors of teriyaki or alfredo sounds unsettling. Burgers win out on versatility. Case closed.

Value

Short and sweet. Tacos rule. Even the cheapest taco is edible, and with enough hot sauce, it hits the spot. You don’t want a 50-cent burger. Remember this.

Gratification

This category is highly subjective, but with some research, it looks like burgers win out. According to this most unscientific Reddit “Would You Rather” pole, out of 6,700 votes, 3,900 went to burgers and 2,800 to tacos. Could it be the meatiness of the burger compared to the crumbliness of taco meat? The sensation of a warm bun between your fingers as you nearly dislocate your jaw to take that first bite? The fact that Americans consume an estimated 50 billion burgers annually is astounding (if not concerning), but it is what it is.

Results

Burgers – 2 (Winner!)

Tacos – 1

Crushing the versatility and gratification categories, burgers come out on top. So, who’s in the mood for tacos? 😊